writing can be scary

"Fuck it, I'll do it myself." 

Those were the words I told myself after years of trying to convince friends and co-workers to collaborate with a blog. I've always wanted to dedicate a space online to work on projects and have them chronologically displayed, so I could see my personal improvement over time. I honestly thought it was a good idea; meeting at coffee shops, talking about projects, working and laughing, sharing anecdotes, editing and posting once a week or less, if the time was limited. All seemed like a great idea to me. But to my misfortune, no-one seemed as interested as I was.  Then, years after not getting anything done, I found the reason why I've always "needed" someone to help me with this simple task. It wasn't because I never finish anything on my own and needed someone to slap me in the face to make me finish them, or extending deadlines for a very prolonged period of time that they never got done. At least, I would like to think I am committed to finishing stuff I set my mind to do. 

The real reason was and still is, that: I have always feared words and the idea of writing. Blame my 4th grade teacher here.

I can easily translate thoughts into images, or things, but words? No, sir. At least that's what I have always programed myself to believe. You see, words don't come to me as easily as for most people and every time I try to write something I look for a place to hide my head under a pillow, or myself under the bed. But that's no longer an option. At least, I am not going to let it be an option anymore. That's why I had to use such a harsh curse word (I usually don't curse) to help me get out of this stage and push me to get on the other side of this fear where I have been for many years. Or more truthfully, my entire life.

And, guess what. It worked. Here I am, writing.